Being Present — Like Mary, Like Martha

I wonder if you’ve ever had that experience of being served in a shop by someone who’s taking your money while also having an in-depth conversation with their colleague at the next till? Or maybe you’ve been the one behind the till, trying to serve someone who’s on their phone while you're speaking to them?

I’ve been in both those situations — and they’re both really annoying.Why? Because even in a fairly superficial interaction, we want to feel like we’re seen. That the person in front of us is actually present.

And the truth is, we all do this. We all have conversations or interactions where we’re distracted — whether with strangers or with those closest to us. But being present with someone says something powerful. It communicates value. It says, “You matter.” It’s not just good manners — it’s a glimpse of how God sees them.

So it’s good — wherever we can — to practise being present. But I think one of the hardest places to do that is in our relationship with God.

With people, we can smile, make eye contact, put the phone away. But with God? We can’t look him in the eye. And the ways we try to focus on him — prayer, music, Bible apps — are often the very things that compete with everything else going on in our heads. Sometimes we don’t come to him with a smile. We come carrying pain, stress, or exhaustion.

And yet — he meets us there.

The Gospel of Presence

This morning’s gospel reading is all about presence. Jesus visits the home of two sisters: Mary and Martha. Mary sits at Jesus’ feet, listening intently — fully present, soaking up every word.Martha’s rushing around like a headless chicken, trying to cook a big meal. Eventually, she’s had enough. She snaps: “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do all the work? Tell her to help me!”

And here’s the thing — when I’ve read this passage in churches or Bible groups over the years, someone always says: “Well… the food did need to be cooked!”

And they’re right. Martha wasn’t wrong to serve. She was honouring Jesus through practical care — and that matters.

If you’ve ever stayed late to clear up after a service, made a casserole for someone ill, or sat through a painfully long PCC meeting — then you’ve walked in Martha’s shoes. And Jesus sees that. It is worship.

But he gently invites her into something deeper.

“Martha, Martha,” he says, “you are worried and distracted by many things — but only one thing is needed.”

He says her name twice. It’s not a rebuke. It’s affection. It’s love. He’s not shaming her. He’s redirecting her. The issue isn’t her effort — it’s that she’s giving him a banquet, when all he really wants is her.He’d rather have beans on toast and her company than a five-course meal without her presence.

We Need Both

In the Church, we need Marthas — absolutely. But we need Marys too. And more than that, we need to learn the rhythm of discipleship: action and attention, service and stillness.

I often think a good measure of closeness is how relaxed someone feels in your kitchen.

In my last parish, I had the joy of working alongside a wonderful priest and mentor, Jill. We spent so much time in her kitchen that her dog learned to let me in before she got to the door. Sometimes she’d make the tea; other times I’d potter about while she finished a phone call. Lunch might be scrambled eggs or something scraped together from the fridge. It wasn’t about the food — it was about the welcome. We were present to each other. And that’s where relationship

deepened. That’s what Jesus is after. Not your polish. Not your performance. You.

He wants to sit with you in the chaos of your kitchen, in the stress of your schedule, in the silence of your soul.

Martha was working hard to make everything perfect. But Jesus was already content to sit in the mess with Mary — and he wanted Martha there too. That gives me hope.

Jesus in the Distraction

Now, we can’t sit at Jesus’ feet quite like Mary did. But he’s still present.

“Where two or three gather in my name, I am there with them.” — Matthew 18:20“My word… will accomplish what I desire.” — Isaiah 55:11“The Lord is near to all who call on him in truth.” — Psalm 145:18

But presence takes practice. We can come to church and still clock-watch. We can pray and still feel our minds wander. We can read Scripture and forget what we’ve read the moment after.

Being present — even for a few moments — takes intention. It takes grace.

So here are some questions I’m asking myself, and maybe they’ll help you too:

• What are we doing — not to earn Jesus’ love, but to make space for it?

• Are we ever turning off the phone, just to sit quietly with God?

• Do we ever say no to something good, so we can say yes to what’s best?

• When was the last time we turned down a night with the telly, for a night with the Lord?

  
  

Now — I know those questions can stir guilt. I don’t get this right all the time either. None of us do.But the good news is this:

Even when we are distracted — Jesus is present. Even when we’re only half-there — he’s fully here.

He’s working in you, shaping you, loving you — not just when you’re sorted, but when you turn up messy.

So yes, let’s fight to be present. But don’t let guilt become another distraction. Even your flawed efforts matter. He sees them. He honours them. He honours you.